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How to wrap presents with ferrets in the house. . .
  1. Gather presents, boxes, paper, etc. in middle of living room floor.
  2. Get tape back from ferret.
  3. Remove scissors from older ferret's mouth.
  4. Open box.
  5. Take ferret out of box.
  6. Remove tape from older ferret's mouth.
  7. Take scissors away from ferret.
  8. Put present in box.
  9. Remove present from ferret's mouth.
  10. Put back in box after removing ferret from box.
  11. Take scissors from older ferret & sit on them.
  12. Remove ferret from box & put on lid.
  13. Take tape away from older ferret.
  14. Unroll paper.
  15. Take ferret OFF box.
  16. Cut paper being careful not to cut ferret's foot or nose that is getting in the way as it "helps".
  17. Let ferret tear remaining paper.
  18. Take ferret off box.
  19. Wrap paper around box.
  20. Remove ferret from box & take wrapping paper from its mouth.
  21. Tell older ferret to fetch the tape so he will stop stealing it.
  22. Take scissors away from ferret.
  23. Take tape older ferret is holding.
  24. Quickly tape one spot before taking scissors from older ferret & sitting on them again.
  25. Fend off ferret trying to steal tape & tape another spot.
  26. Take bow from older ferret.
  27. Go get roll of wrapping paper ferret ran off with.
  28. Take scissors from older ferret who took them when you got up.
  29. Give pen to older ferret to hold so he stops biting your toes.
  30. Remove ferret from present & hurriedly slap tape on to hold the paper on.
  31. Take now punctured and hairy bow from ferret & tape on since the sticky stuff no longer sticks.
  32. Take pen from older ferret, address tag & affix while another ferret tries to eat pen.
  33. Grab present before ferret opens it & put it away.
  34. Clean up mess ferret & older ferret made playing tug-of-war with remnants of wrapping paper.
  35. Put away rest of wrapping supplies & tell ferrets what good helpers they are.


Written by: Unknown

"How to wrap presents with ferrets in the house" used with permission. Please email J.D. to obtain permission before reproducing or linking to this page.